Nighthawks – Creative Writing

The night is velvet black. The streetlights are switched off a would be crisp dank street is illuminated by the fluorescent beam of the all-night diner, which watches the street, glancing through my window, an apartment above the hardware store. It couldve disturbed my slumber but I wasnt in. I hadnt been in for a yearn time and tonight, I sat in the diner, a safe fuck offn for vagrants and nomads. Im alone. There are two other customers in the diner and a bartender but Im alone.My body needs sleep but my mind wont allow it its been a long day. I must have travelled for several hours but I cant recall a second on the road. My head is a train station of thoughts, coming and going. As I peer upwards Im forced to squint the vibrant light burns my eye from under my hat. From what I can see of the places inhabitants, its the most alive amour in here tonight, dancing along the oak veneer counter and blazing into the bottom of my cup, creating a reflection. I gaze into my own eyes. The man I see is not the man I am hes grotesque with vile features and battle scar-like wrinkles. Hes definitely not the man who woke up the previous morning in Baltimore in a fully occupied double bed.Ive had countless Irish coffees but my mind still feels sober. The kid behind the counter looks at me tentatively for the usual impersonal small talk, attempting to catch my empty eyes. I resist, he doesnt remember me. His mother used to run this place but shes probably long dead. Besides, Im not here to remember. Im here to forget.It was a rough Manhattan neighbourhood but the street was as clean as any up town, to me this was largely because of the diner. It protected a once dim noisome street and brought together the community. Back when I was just an ignorant wiseacre before it all started, before the epiphany that was concussion her.I am awoken back to consciousness by the hushed whispers of the couple opposite, who look uneasy and not just because this apparent hobo is eyeballing them, there was something else, something deeper. I guess they too must have their reasons for not being at home, tucked up in bed. The man was young and handsome with wired caffeine-powered eyes Id seen him a thousand times before waltzing around up town in a suit. I cant tell whether hes paying for his company or not, Im shaft not because if I was Id demand a refund, she seems more interested in her hands than his voice, gazing intensely as if reading her palms, deeply occupied in her thoughts.She feels my stare. Id get out look away and play it cool but I cant. Even as she gazes back, Im lost. She sends me a plaintive smile but I run emotionless. I can tell shes still thinking hard of other things, half-heartedly raising a cigarette to her rouged lips, barely bothering to inhale. I watch its lustreless droop for what feels like hours. Shes entranced me. They always do this. She always does this.I bring my refilled cup back to my lips not letting anything slip to the broad. I r emain motionless, my insides decomposing shes not scared of me but childishly curious. Shes attractive in obvious ways but her true beauty is esoteric, only I who have cognise her for so long could understand. We both maintain this level of equanimity as my eyes are starting to leak. I cant tell whether its for lack of sleep or that I havent blinked in many minutes. Its n all I realise as that pain in my stomach that urged me to drive all this way home is decent more tolerable. The drink only shielded me temporarily but my emotions are now releasing themselves all over the counter and into my half empty cup. She either doesnt mind or notice but I terminate my tears anyway.The suit next to her grabs her coat.Dyou wanna get outta here?He cant have seen me. Shell make a fool out of him. She humours these lowlifes but I always know shell be mine at the end of the night even if she makes me doubt it sometimes.Yeah, sure. Ive just been delay for you.I dont understand.Why didnt you say so?Because I didnt want you following me home.Of course, always one step ahead of me. He storms passed me muttering vulgar terms, I hear slut and would hurt him but Ive long since learnt thats not what she wants. I look back to her. She is now standing. In a matter of seconds shes brushing passed my direct ignoring me, shes changed her perfume shes changed her appearance. Shes left me again but I still love her. Ive loved her from the moment I set eyes on her in this very diner. I loved her when we settled down near her parents in South Baltimore, Maryland. I loved her when she told me why we werent physically intimate and I loved her for geezerhood until the inevitable happened today. Until it happened today. I see her face on every blonde Ive seen since and I dont doubt I will for a while.The barman looks suggestively at the clock. Ive overstayed my welcome. My sojourn is over tomorrow I must return to my new home. I glance up at the old apartment and the lights inside are on. I can still make out the other two figures on opposite sides of the street but Im alone. I feel even together in the diner, we were all alone.